Men have responsibilities/qawwâmûn towards women according to what Allah favors some of them over others/ba‘ḍa-hum ‘alâ ba‘ḍin and by what they spend of their goods. The virtuous are pious and intimate guardians/al – ghayb of what Allah wants us to preserve. As for those whose manifest impiety you fear, exhort them, and leave them in their beds, and get away from them/let them go /“shun them” (or “ignore them”) /wa – ḍribû-hunna! If they are in good spirits towards you, do not seek ways against them; Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.(4:34)/( alternative translation)
Considering
the different possible meanings of Da-Ra-Ba ض ر ب , the question is:
what is the original intended meaning of this word in verse 4:34? Even
if we place all the moral issues aside regarding the beating of women,
the intended meaning should still make sense in the context and be
logical while fitting with the rest of the Qur'an. The Qur'an advises on
considering all possible viewpoints and then following only the 'best':
The ones who listen to what is being said and then FOLLOW THE BEST of it. These are
the ones whom God has guided and these are the ones who possess intelligence. (39:18)
the ones whom God has guided and these are the ones who possess intelligence. (39:18)
الَّذِينَ
يَسْتَمِعُونَ الْقَوْلَ فَيَتَّبِعُونَ أَحْسَنَهُ أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ
هَدَاهُمُ اللَّهُ وَأُولَئِكَ هُمْ أُولُو الأَلْبَابِ
Verse
4:34 outlines steps which can be taken in order to attempt resolution
of marital conflict and resolution between the couple. The second step
mentioned in the verse, after 'discussing with / advising' the partner, is to 'avoid / withdraw' from
them in bed. This step is a clear indication that according to the
Qur'an, actions of withdrawal / separation from the partner in a marital
conflict can be a useful way to attempt resolving the disputes and to
approach reconciliation. It therefore makes sense for the third step
mentioned in the verse to follow a similar line of thought in terms of
separation / withdrawal. If we consider the use of Da-Ra-Ba ض ر ب in
verse 26:63, we see that the action of Da-Ra-Ba ض ر ب in this verse
resulted in physical separation of the sea into two parts:
if we look at the use of Da-Ra-Ba ض ر ب in verse 43:5, we see that the word has been used with this meaning of 'withdrawing / turning away', further resembling separation:
Shall We TURN AWAY from you the reminder, disregarding you, because you are a
transgressing people? (43:5)
transgressing people? (43:5)
أَفَنَضْرِبُ عَنْكُمُ الذِّكْرَ صَفْحًا أَنْ كُنْتُمْ قَوْمًا مُسْرِفِينَ
Given the context of verse 4:34, it makes most sense for Da-Ra-Ba ض ر ب to be taking this same meaning of 'turning away / withdrawing'.
The word should be taken generally as a meaning of turning way /
withdrawing from, ie. any type of separation, similar to the previous
step of separation in bed. A suitable English word to use in the
translation of Da-Ra-Ba ض ر ب in verse 4:34 is 'shun'
The definitions of 'shun' in English dictionaries include the following:
- To keep away from (a place, person, object, etc.), from motives of dislike, caution, etc.; take pains to avoid.6)
- To avoid deliberately; keep away from.7)
- To persistently avoid, ignore, or reject (someone or something) through antipathy or caution: 'he shunned fashionable society'.8)
It should be noted that whether or not this step of 'shunning / turning away' requires
the husband or wife to move out of the house is not specified in the
verse because it depends on each individual situation of marital
conflict. Even if the verse has mentioned avoiding / withdrawing in bed,
there can be other ways of avoiding or keeping away from a spouse
without leaving the house. However, in a situation where there is high
risk of domestic violence between a couple, a separation from the house
may be appropriate to ease the tension and reduce risks of physical harm
to each other.
The
men being addressed in verse 4:34, instead of women, is not an
important point because the same course of action in the verse can be
taken by the wife, in compliance with verse 4:128. The same conditional
word 'discord / marital problems' Na-Sha-Za ن ش ز has been used in both 4:34 and 4:128 for the man and woman:
If a woman fears discord (Na-Sha-Za ن ش ز) or shunning from her husband, they can
reach terms of reconciliation between themselves, and reconciliation is best. Present
in mankind is arrogance, but if you do good and are conscious of God, then God is
ever-acquainted with what you do. (4:128)
reach terms of reconciliation between themselves, and reconciliation is best. Present
in mankind is arrogance, but if you do good and are conscious of God, then God is
ever-acquainted with what you do. (4:128)
وَإِنِ
امْرَأَةٌ خَافَتْ مِنْ بَعْلِهَا نُشُوزًا أَوْ إِعْرَاضًا فَلا جُنَاحَ
عَلَيْهِمَا أَنْ يُصْلِحَا بَيْنَهُمَا صُلْحًا وَالصُّلْحُ خَيْرٌ
وَأُحْضِرَتِ الأَنْفُسُ الشُّحَّ
وَإِنْ تُحْسِنُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرًا
وَأُحْضِرَتِ الأَنْفُسُ الشُّحَّ
وَإِنْ تُحْسِنُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرًا
If
a period of separation does not help to resolve the marital conflict
between the couple by themselves, then the next verse 4:35 mentions that
some form of authority appoints an arbiter from the man's and the
woman's side to take the case forward:
If you fear a rift between them both, arrange an arbiter from his side and an
arbiter from her side. If they both want reconciliation, God will make them reconcile.
God is All-Knowing and All-Acquainted. (4:35)
arbiter from her side. If they both want reconciliation, God will make them reconcile.
God is All-Knowing and All-Acquainted. (4:35)
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهَا إِنْ يُرِيدَا إِصْلاحًا
يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا
يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا
The meaning of 'shun / leave' in
this verse is especially logical because not all cases of marital
discord would require referral to third parties / arbiters as mentioned
in the above verse. A period of separation allows a thought-out decision
to be made regarding whether this should occur. For example, if at the
time of separation, the husband had already been extremely violent and
abusive to his wife, the wife would have the opportunity to decide
whether it is better to refer this to arbiters for a divorce. The period
of separation would also stop opportunities for such physical abuse to
continue. If, however, at the time of separation, there has been no
physical violence and the marital disagreement can be resolved by the
couple themselves, then they may decide that it is not necessary to
refer the case to arbiters at all. This is of-course an important
decision regarding possible divorce, so a period of separation makes
sense to consider the options and make the best decision.
If
arbiters need to be involved, either the husband or wife may notify a
relevant authoritative body to arrange this. This may be a legal system
or other government organisation dealing with marital problems. The
exact protocols of this will depend on a society's norms and practices
at a given time. The case may or may not need to be dealt with by a
court, with members of the families involved, where a final decision
regarding divorce or reconciliation can be made
SOURCE:
Qur'an Verse 4:34 - 'Beat the Wife?' | www.free-minds.org***
>>>
4:34 Beat your wife? - Quranaloneislam.org
***- There
are many other meanings for that word, all listed in "Lisan Al-Arab "
Arabic Dictionary by Ibn Manthoor, Volume 5, pages 477-483. The above
crucial meaning, disregard, ignore,shun, discontinue any interaction,
with its numerous applications including 43:5, is listed clearly in page 480.
You could also verify this meaning in Lane’s Arabic-English lexicon:
ضَرَبَ عَنْهُ turned away a person or thing from him [or it] ;
ضَرَبَ نَفْسَهُ عَنْهُ turned away from, avoided, shunned, or left, him, or it ; ... namely, a person, or a thing.
http://www.studyquran.org/LaneLexicon/Volume5/00000064.pdf
- The forth statement is:
فَإِن أَطَعنَكُم فَلا تَبغوا عَلَيهِنَّ سَبيلًا
It
means if they follow your advise (stopped whatever rebellious actions
they were doing), then, do not make things hard for them.
- The fifth statement states that God is the Most High, the Supreme.
We have heard enough justifications for the wrong understanding of 4:34 ;
no righteous woman would put herself in a situation that mandates
beating- it is the last resort- it is a responsibility on men to
preserve marriage- it is a responsibility for men to fix and reform- men
are the guardians of women- if option number one and option number two
are followed, option number three of beating up a wife will never take
place- some women are violent and men should be able to defend
themselves- it is a test set for men to practice self-control- it is a
test set by God to see who is going to hang their belief on this verse,
accept or reject Quran- some women do not behave unless this humiliating
and oppressive threat is in effect- some women enjoy being beaten up-
the man is the leader of the ship, there has to be a leader or else the
ship would sink...etc... a lot of non-sense and disgraceful thoughts
that have been introduced by sick scholars for years and years until,
unfortunately, such pollution has been settling down in our conscious,
women and men. It is sad to note that many Righteous men, raised by
righteous parents stand firm against spousal violence following their
logic and instincts, while failing to support their stand by Quran or
while feeling that God and Quran have let them down.
Based on all the above divine concepts in Quran, and the meaning of the words used by God in 4:34, the following translation of 4:34 should be adopted from now on, and would be taught to our kids. The Arabic text of 4:34 states:
Men
are the care givers for women BECAUSE of the certain qualities that
they are exclusively given and BECAUSE they are the ones who provide for
living and spend from their money. Righteous women would always accept
that and they would always guard such an arrangement even in their
privacy, when alone, as dictated by God. If you fear rebellion from the
women, you shall advise them wisely, then you may stay away from them in
bed, then you may deliberately and entirely ignore them. If they follow
your advise, you should not make life difficult for them. God is Most
High, Supreme.
[Quran 4:35] If you fear that separation is approaching regading that couple (a couple fears separation,) you shall appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family; if they decide to reconcile, God will help them get together. God is Omniscient, Cognizant.
In 4:35, God is still talking about the same couple mentioned in 4:34. Issuing arbitration in this verse is directly connected to the scenario presented in 4:34 but
of course is not limited to it ; arbitration is a basic step before
going through the cooling off period before divorce. In 4:35,
God points clearly AT that couple that went through the process of
advise, desertion in bed, desertion at all times. He states if
separation is likely to happen after that amicable desertion, meaning
the wife would not follow the advise as the end of 4:34 states,
then arbitration must take over to reconcile them. This progression in
events would not sound that AMICABLE and LOGICAL and would not conform
with all the divine ethics and concepts of Quran listed above if the
previous step prescribed by God in 4:34 was violence and aggression.
-
Then, later on, in the same chapter, the same scenario is presented but
in case of the woman sensing rebellion from her husband:
[Quran 4:128] If a woman senses rebellion (oppression) or
desertion from her husband, the couple shall try to reconcile their
differences, for conciliation is best for them. Selfishness is a human
trait, and if you do good and lead a righteous life, God is fully
Cognizant of everything you do.
The same word used for rebellion in 4:34 is used in 4:128, and the same approach is recommended by God : an AMICABLE effort should be made for reconciliation.
Disputes
within the institution of marriage are very likely to happen. That is
why God has explained to us the ideal, amicable and humane approaches of
dealing with them. It is very natural and commonly practiced by spouses
to go through the different steps of advise, desertion in bed and then
entirely avoiding each other or disregarding each other, day and night
for a while. That is a very normal pattern and a logically, ethically
and emotionally accepted one that would lead to some constructive and
healthy evaluation of the matter of dispute. Physical violence has no
place in marriage according to Quran. Only amicable advise, amicable
desertion, arbitration, reconciliation or amicable and equitable
separation.
SOURCE:
NO Such Thing as Wife Beating in Quran& Islam | Submission ...***
4:34 Men are protectors of the women because
Allah (has) bestowed some of them over others and because they spend
from their wealth. So the righteous women are obedient, guarding in the
unseen that which Allah (orders) them to guard. And those (from) whom you fear their ill-conduct, then advise them, and forsake them in bed, and set forth them (id'ribuhunna). Then if they obey you, then do not seek a way against them. Indeed, Allah is Most High, Most Great.
(The
root of “id’ribu” (set forth) is “Dad-Ra-Ba”, and it means “go, make a
journey, travel, set forth, leave/forsake, strike, beat, hit, etc.”. You
use one word or another according to the context. In the case of Verse 4:34, translating / interpreting it as “strike / beat” is not supported by other verses of the Qur’an. So, the Qur’an do not support a translation or interpretation that could imply wife beating. According to the context, (“forsake them in bed” (4:34)), then “set forth them” (4:34) suggests that, if they still have ill-conduct, you do not only forsake them in bed, but, you also leave them in general (in bed, house, etc))(Another point is that Verse 4:34 starts saying “men are protectors of the women”, which implies that men are their protectors, not their aggressors. The Bible is in agreement with the Qur’an; Malachi 2:16 says,
“the man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of
Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord
Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful”. The Qur’an confirms the Bible (5:48), in that which God revealed)(Allah knows best)
4:35 And if you fear a dissension between the two of them, then send an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family. If they both wish reconciliation, Allah will cause reconciliation between both of them. Indeed, Allah is All-Knower, All-Aware.
(The
next Verse confirms that man and woman are under the same conditions;
it is not about one side (man) using his strength, but the dissension is
between the two of them (4:35), then there is an arbitrator from both
sides. And reconciliation is also between both of them (4:35))(Another
point is that divorce is allowed in Islam, so if a man was to beat a
woman, then that woman is allowed to divorce (33:28, 2:237, 2:241). So,
in Islam, Muslim women cannot be abused, on the other hand, in
Christianity, women cannot divorce (Matthew 5:32); so, Christian women
might be oppressed or abused by their husband)(Allah knows best)
4:128 And if a woman fears ill-conduct or desertion from her husband, then there is no sin upon both of them that they make terms of peace between themselves - a reconciliation, and reconciliation is best. And souls are swayed by greed. But if you do good and fear, then indeed, Allah is All-Aware of what you do.
(Verse
4:128 has the same context than Verse 4:34: “ill-conduct” (4:34,
4:128), and tells about “desertion”, or “reconciliation”, so it is one
or the other, so it confirms that in the case of ill-conduct, it is
about separating, or reconciliating, in both Verses (4:34 and 4:128).
So, the Qur’an doesn’t tell about retaining her and beating her, but you
have to reconcile (stay married in good terms), or divorce (leave /
separate / forsake / set forth, in a fair manner). The Verses of the
Qur’an are not mutually exclusive, but complement each other)(Allah
knows best)
4:129 And you will never be able to deal justly between the women even if you desired, but do not incline (with) all the inclination and leave her like the suspended one. And if you reconcile and fear - then indeed, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. 4:130 And if they separate, Allah will enrich each (of them) from His abundance. And Allah is All-Encompassing, All-Wise.
(Verses
4:129-130 confirm that it is about separating, or reconciliating (“if
you reconcile” (4:129); “If they separate” (4:130)). Notice that Verse
4:129 tells about not leaving her like the suspended one, so if they are
not in good terms, he doesn’t beat her, but he leaves her, and
ultimately they both have to reconcile or divorce)(Allah knows best)
2:231 And when you divorce women and they reach their term, then either retain them in a fair manner or release them in a fair manner (bima’rufin). And do not retain them to hurt them so that you transgress. And whoever does that, then indeed, he wrongs himself.
And do not take the Verses of Allah in jest, and remember the Favors of
Allah upon you and what is revealed to you of the Book and the wisdom by which He instructs you. And fear Allah and know that Allah is All-Knower of everything.
(Verse 2:231 explicitly says “do not retain them to hurt them”. So, you either “retain them in a fair manner” (2:231), or “release them in a fair manner” (2:231), but retaining them to hurt is explicitly forbidden (2:231))(If you do not divorce, you retain them in a fair manner (“ma’rufin” (2:231)). The root of “ma’rufin” is “Ayn-Ra-Fa”, and it means “honorable, good, kindness, fairness, recognized, etc.”; on the other hand, if you release them, either way, you also do it with kindness (“bima’rufin”))(Interpreting Verse 4:34 as “beating” is in direct contradiction with other Verses of the Qur’an, and it is in contradiction with Verse 4:34 itself; “Men are protectors of the women” (4:34))(“harming” or “beating” opposes to “protecting”)(Allah knows best)
4:19 O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by force. And do not constraint them in order to take part of what you have given them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness (bil-ma’rufi). For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah has placed much good in it.
(The
believers are commanded to live with them in kindness (4:19))(“Beating”
opposes to “kindness”. And Verse 4:19 even says that “if you dislike
them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah has placed much good in
it”, so some men might not know or perceive that which is good in regard
to women, so the only way is treating them with kindness)(The root of
“ma’rufi” (kindness) is “Ayn-Ra-Fa” and it means “become submissive /
tractable / pleasant, fragrant, benefaction / goodness; ma’ruf –
honorable, known, recognized, good, befitting, fairness, kindness,
etc.”)(Allah knows best)
30:21
And among His Signs is that He
created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility
in them; and He placed love and
mercy between you.
Indeed, in that are
surely Signs for a people who reflect.
(The
love and mercy is between both of them. It implies good
treatment)(Allah knows best)
3:134 Those who spend in ease and hardship and those who restrain the anger and those who pardon people - and Allah loves the good-doers.
(According
to Verse 3:134, the good-doers restrain the anger, so you cannot hit
your wife)(Those who hit their wives, it is out of anger and impatience;
the Qur’an also tells about being patient (2:153, 2:155, 2:249, 3:146,
8:46, 28:80, 37:102, 39:10, 47:31))(Allah knows best)
33:28 O Prophet, say to your wives, "If you desire the life of the world and its adornment, then come, I will provide for you and release you with a good release.
(The
wives are not forced to follow the religion, because there is no
compulsion in Islam (2:256), and women can also divorce, with “a good
release”)(Allah knows best)
2:229 Divorce is twice. Then retain in a reasonable manner or release with kindness. And it is not lawful for you to take back whatever you have given them, except if both fear that they can’t keep the limits of Allah. But if you fear that they can’t keep
the limits of Allah, then there is no sin on both of them in what she
ransoms concerning it. These are the limits of Allah, so do not
transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah then those
- they are the wrongdoers.
(Women
can divorce in Islam, but they cannot divorce in Christianity (Matthew
5:32). So, she could be oppressed or abused by her husband)(Allah knows
best)
33:59 O Prophet, say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw over themselves their outer garments. That is more suitable that they should be known and not harmed. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
(The purpose of the Verses is that women are not harmed, so that they are protected)(Allah knows best)
5:48 And We have revealed to you the Book in truth, confirming the Book that came before it and as a guardian over it. So judge between them by what Allah has revealed and do not follow their vain desires when the truth has come to you. For each of you We have made a law and a clear way. And if Allah had willed, He would have made you one community [and] but to test you in what He has given you; so race to good. To Allah you will all return, then He will inform you concerning that over which you used to differ.
(“Beating”
and “leaving” are not the same; why using a word with these two
meanings? People is tested in what God has given you (5:48). Some people
interpret Verse 4:34 one way or another, but you have to race to good
(5:48), and “Those who listen to the Word, then follow the best thereof,
those are they whom Allah has guided, and those are men of
understanding” (39:18))(Allah knows best)
66:10 Allah presents (daraba) an example for those who disbelieved - the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot. They were under two of Our righteous slaves, but they both betrayed them, so they did not avail both of them from Allah in anything, and it was said, "Enter the Fire with those who enter."
(There
are many examples in the Qur’an in which all the meanings of a certain
word could not be applied in a certain context. E.g. “daraba” in Verse
66:10 (which is the same word than the one used in Verse 4:34) can
neither be translated as “beating” anyhow)(Allah knows best )Posted by Amin
According to Verse ... - Answering Questions Through The Holy Qur'an***
42 Lit., "more on some of them than on the others".- The expression qawwam is an intensive form of qa'im ("one who is responsible for" or "takes care of" a thing or a person). Thus, qama 'ala l-mar'ah signifies "he undertook the maintenance of the woman" or "he maintained her" (see Lane VIII, 2995). The grammatical form qawwam is more comprehensive than qa'im, and combines the concepts of physical maintenance and protection as well as of moral responsibility: and it is because of the last-named factor that I have rendered this phrase as "men shall take full care of women". 43 Lit., "who guard that which cannot be perceived (al-ghayb) because God has [willed it to be] guarded
44 The term nushuz (lit., "rebellion"- here rendered as "ill-will") comprises every kind of deliberate bad behaviour of a wife towards her husband or of a husband towards his wife, including what is nowadays described as "mental cruelty"; with reference to the husband, it also denotes "ill-treatment", in the physical sense, of his wife (cf. verse 128 of this surah). In this context, a wife's "ill-will" implies a deliberate, persistent breach of her marital obligations.
45 It is evident from many authentic Traditions that the Prophet himself intensely detested the idea of beating one's wife, and said on more than one occasion, "Could any of you beat his wife as he would beat a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?" (Bukhari and Muslim). According to another Tradition, he forbade the beating of any woman with the words, "Never beat God's handmaidens" (Abu Da'ud, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Ibn Hibban and Hakim, on the authority of Iyas ibn 'Abd Allah; Ibn Hibban, on the authority of 'Abd Allah ibn 'Abbas; and Bayhaqi, on the authority of Umm Kulthum). When the above Qur'an-verse authorizing the beating of a refractory wife was revealed, the Prophet is reported to have said: "I wanted one thing, but God has willed another thing - and what God has willed must be best" (see Manar V, 74). With all this, he stipulated in his sermon on the occasion of the Farewell Pilgrimage, shortly before his death, that beating should be resorted to only if the wife "has become guilty, in an obvious manner, of immoral conduct", and that it should be done "in such a way as not to cause pain (ghayr mubarrih)"; authentic Traditions to this effect are found in Muslim, Tirmidhi, Abu Da'ud, Nasa'i and Ibn Majah. On the basis of these Traditions, all the authorities stress that this "beating", if resorted to at all, should be more or less symbolic - "with a toothbrush, or some such thing" (Tabari, quoting the views of scholars of the earliest times), or even "with a folded handkerchief" (Razi); and some of the greatest Muslim scholars (e.g., Ash-Shafi'i) are of the opinion that it is just barely permissible, and should preferably be avoided: and they justify this opinion by the Prophet's personal feelings with regard to this problem.( muhammad asad )
AHMED ALI: “Men are the support of women as God gives some more means than others, and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them). So women who are virtuous are obedient to God and guard the hidden as God has guarded it. As for women you feel are averse, talk to them suasively; then leave them alone in bed (without molesting them) and go to bed with them (when they are willing). If they open out to you, do not seek an excuse for blaming them. Surely God is sublime and great.”
(Source: Al-Qur'an: A Contemporary Translation, Princeton University Press, 1988: 78-79)
Ahmed Ali’s explanatory note on his translation of this verse: “For the three words fa'izu, wahjaru, and wadribu in the original, translated here 'talk to them suasively,' 'leave them alone (in bed - fi'l-madage'),' and 'have intercourse', respectively, see Raghib, Lisan al-'Arab, and Zamakhsari. Raghib in his Al-Mufridat fi Gharib al-Qur'an gives the meanings of these words with special reference to this verse. Fa-'izu, he says, means to 'to talk to them so persuasively as to melt their hearts.' (See also v.63 of this Surah where it has been used in a similar sense.) Hajara, he says, means to separate body from body, and points out that the expression wahjaru hunna metaphorically means to refrain from touching or molesting them. Zamakhshari is more explicit in his Kshshaf when he says, 'do not get inside their blankets.' Raghib points out that daraba metaphorically means to have intercourse, and quotes the expression darab al-fahl an-naqah, 'the stud camel covered the she-camel,' which is also quoted by Lisan al-'Arab. It cannot be taken here to mean 'to strike them (women).' This view is strengthened by the Prophet's authentic hadith found in a number of authorities, including Bukhari and Muslim: "Could any of you beat your wife as he would a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?" There are other traditions in Abu Da'ud, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad bin Hanbal and others, to the effect that he forbade the beating of any woman, saying: "Never beat God's handmaidens."”
The context:
1-Islam asks both male and female to restrict themselves only to their spouses.
2-Islam, in the strongest manner possible, condemns every extra-marital relation.
3-The permission to (lightly) beat women is not unconditional, nor it is in every situation. Lets see the context of the that; Quran says:
"....therefore the righteous women are devotedly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence What ALLAH would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, Admonish them (first), Next, refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); But if they turn to obedience, Seek not against them, means (of annoyance): For ALLAH is Most High, Great (above you all)." (Quran 4:34)
This makes it absolutely clear that this permission is only when women become disloyal--And again reading from start makes it clear that disloyalty here means something below dignity of a modest and chaste woman.
4-When a woman indulges into such an act then of a surety she would not be to her husband as she ought to be. This can even possibly make her husband slip away form the right path and he may get involved somewhere else. If such a stage arrives then this would be havoc not only for the couple and their relations but for the society as a whole. And this permission is deterrence and a necessity against evil.
It's allowed in extreme cases only:
1-Even in that case, to beat is the last option. First is to admonish, if this does not work then next step is to part from their beds, and if this also fails then is light beating.
2-And even if such a stage arrives then also their are restraints, "But if they turn to obedience, Seek not against them, Means of annoyance"
3-If at all a woman feels that she cannot live with her husband anymore, for any reason, she must get divorce and part, but as long as she is inside the marriage she must remain loyal to her husband even in his absence. For the mutual relation of the couple is the very basis of the society.(via letmeturntables )
Men
are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the
other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So
righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard. But
those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then
if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But
if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them.Indeed, Allah
is ever Exalted and Grand.(4:34)
.
The wives should be guarding themselves in their husbands absence and everyone knows what does it mean.Now when a husband fears about his wife’s arrogance regarding this matter i.e if the wife is NOT guarding herself in his absence,then he has to advise her,separate her from the bed and it is also lawful for him to strike her.
I have a question i.e if anyone of you finds his wife cheating him,what would he do?
“Daraba
(darb) to beat, strike, … to play … (to play musical instrument)l to
make music; to type ( on a type writer); to sting (scorpion); to
separate, part (… people); to impose (… on s.o. s.th.). to turn away
from, leave, forsake, abandon, avoid, or shun s.o. or s.th.; – (darb, …
daraban) to pulsate. … to move, stir, to rove, roam about, travel. …”
(M…” (Hans Wehr A Dictionary of Modern written Arabic [Edited by John
Milton – Spoken Language Services, Inc. 1976, 4th edition], page 629)
Quran
in verse 4:34 have discussed the matter not about a Chaste Lady but
about a Woman who is slipping toward Path of Satan, a Fahisha. Quran
nowhere in this verse says: You just start to beat (Daraba) wife at
first stage. Quran deals this matter in three steps. A Woman who has entered in the Satanic area of Fahisha by mistake, will never go to the third step mentioned below. In fact she will fix herself just after first step. Only a wife who is involved in Fahisha deliberately, will drag husband to third step. So in this case, for third step, not man but she will be responsible.
1– Admonish that kind of Women
2– Then leave them alone in bed
3- Then
beat them; and if thereupon they pay you heed, do not seek to harm
them. (Just like a mother who beats his naughty son in order to make him
a good son. She will never break his arms and legs)
When even after first two steps, that wife is not refraining from Evil; then as last resort,
Quran orders to beat that Fahisha in order to bring her on right path.
This step of Quran resembles with the action of that Wise-Man in
Sura-Al-Kahf who damaged Boat partially in order to save the Boat.
What will be better, as last resort; to beat that Fahisha in order to
put her on right path; or divorce her and break family institution? You
decide honestly. Of Course, that beating never mean to break limbs of
wife. It is just by hand. As last resort, target of that beating is not
to harm derailed-wife but to place her back on right track. Let do not
condone one reality; Since man placed step on this earth, vast majority
of Parents always beat their naughty kids in order to fix their repeated
bad actions/habits but they never break head or limbs of their kids
because purpose to bring them on right track, and as per this scenario,
purpose is never to take revenge from them or to punish them for a
Crime. Here the main point is: Will it be better for you to divorce a
bad wife, or to correct her. Only a stupid will say: Divorce her right
way and break family institution which can be disastrous for kids if you
have already.( by factszz )
The
problem comes from the word "Idribuhunne" which we used to translate as
"beat them". The root of this word is "DaRaBa". If you look at any
Arabic dictionary you will find a long list of meanings ascribed to this
word. That list is one of the longest lists in all the Arabic
dictionary. It can be said that "DaRaBa" is the number-one multi-meaning
word in Arabic. It has so many different meanings, we can find numerous
different meanings ascribed to it in the Quran.
- To travel, to get out: 3:156; 4:101; 38:44; 73:20; 2:273
- To strike: 2:60,73; 7:160; 8:12; 20:77; 24:31; 26:63; 37:93; 47:4
- To beat: 8:50; 47:27
- To set up: 43:58; 57:13
- To give (examples): 14:24,45; 16:75,76,112; 18:32,45; 24:35; 30:28,58; 36:78; 39:27,29; 43:17; 59:21; 66:10,11
- To take away, to ignore: 43:5
- To condemn: 2:61
- To seal, to draw over: 18:11
- To cover: 24:31
- To explain: 13:1
- Additionally, the word "Nushuz" which is generally translated as "opposition" has another meaning which can be translated as degrees of disloyalty ranging from flirtation to sexual liaison. If we study 4:34 carefully we will find a clue that leads us to translate that word as "flirting or cheating" or "extramarital affair" (Any word or words that reflect the range of disloyalty in marriage). The clue is the phrase before "Nushuz" as reads:
And observe God's commandments, even when alone in their privacy.
This phrase emphasises the importance of loyalty in marriage life.Furthermore, the same word "Nushuz" is used in 4:128, but it is used to describe the misbehaviour of husbands not wives as was in 4:34. So, the traditional translation of "Nushuz", that is, "opposition" will not fit here. In vertical relations, "opposition" cannot be a double-edged behaviour. So, translators try to avoid this contradiction by ascribing just the opposite meaning of "opposition", i.e., "oppression" in verse 4:128. However, the meaning of "Nushuz" as "disloyalty" is appropriate for both cases described in 4:34 and 4:128.A Coherent Understanding
When we read 4:34 we should not understand "idribuhunne" as "beat those women". We must remember that this word has many meanings. God gives us three ways of dealing with extra-marital-affair. In the beginning stage of such misbehavior husband should start from giving advice. If it does not work and she goes further and commit a proven adultery, that time husband has the right to strike them out (4:34 & 65:1).Let's present our suggestion for the translation of verse 4:34
"Men traditionally take care of women, since God has endowed each of them with certain qualities and men spend from their financial resources. The righteous women are obedient (to God) and during the absence (of their husband) they honour them according to God's commandment. As for those women whom you are experiencing a fear of disloyalty from, you shall first advice them, then (if they continue) you may desert them in bed, then you may strike them out. If they obey you then don't transgress against them. God is Most High, Supreme" (4:34).
Beating women who are cheating is not an ultimate solution; but 'striking them out' from your house is the best solution. And it is fair too.
To soften the issue, some scholars have claimed that a husband may only beat his wife if she commits adultery.But when we examine this interpretation, once again we find that it contradicts Quranic law. In the case of adultery, God has already prescribed a fixed punishment of 100 lashes (24:2). The important issue here is that the same crime or sin should not entitle two separate punishments. If a wife commits adultery and is given 100 lashes, then her husband beats her as well, she would have received two separate punishments for the same sin By : Edip Yuksel
“Domestic violence is a serious social problem in the West and globally, and the Muslim world is no exception. Many grass-roots movements and women’s organizations who work to eradicate it through education for both men and women emphasize Quranic teachings about the rights and responsibilities of men and women and about marital relations. In some Muslim societies, men use the Quran to justify domestic violence. However, many verses in the Quran teach that men and women are to be kind to and supportive of each other. Love and justice in family relationships are emphasized, and cruelty is forbidden. Quran 30:21 states, ‘And among his signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: behold, verily in that are signs for those who reflect.’ Quran 4:19 further commands, ‘O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness. On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing through which God brings about a great deal of good. ’Chronologically, the last Quranic verse to be revealed that addressed relations between husband and wife was 9:71, in which women and men are described as being each other’s protecting friends and guardians, emphasizing their cooperation in living together as partners, rather than adversaries or superiors and subordinates.Likewise, the hadith (Prophetic traditions) note Muhammad’s respect for and protection of women. Muhammad said, ‘The best of you is he who is best to his wife.’ Muhammad’s wife Aisha narrated that Muhammad never hit any servant or woman and never physically struck anyone with his own hand. Neither the Quran nor the hadith record Muhammad as ever mistreating or losing temper with any of his wives, even when he was unhappy or dissatisfied. Those who use the Quran to justify wife-beating point to 4:34, which says, ‘Good women are obedient, guarding in secret that which God has guarded. As for those from whom you fear disobedience, admonish them, then banish them to beds apart and strike them. But if they obey you, do not seek a way against them.’ In recent years scholars have argued that ‘obedience’ refers to women’s attitude toward God, not toward her husband. Furthermore,
obedience in this verse is tied to the women’s guarding of her chastity, so that an obedient women is one who does not commit sexual immorality. The word typically translated as ‘disobedience’ (Nushuz) refers to disruption of marital harmony in which one spouse fails to fulfil the required duties of marriage. It is applied elsewhere in the Quran to bother men and women. The end of the verse admonishes men not to mistreat women who obey them. Rather than granting men the right to strike their wives, reformers argue, this verse reminds men of their responsibility to treat women fairly. Quran 4:34 lists three methods to be used in resolving marital disputes. First comes admonition or discussion between the husband and wife alone or with the assistance of arbiters. This practice, also recommended by 4:35 and 4:128, is also to be used for couples considering divorce. If this fails, the second option is physical separation, sleeping in separate beds, which gives the couple space for cooling off and thinking about the future of their marital relationship. The third and final method is to strike or hit. The striking takes the singular form grammatically, so that only a single strike Is permissible. Quran 4:34 was revealed early In the Medinan period of Muhammad’s ministry, a time and place in which cruelty and violence against women remained rampant. Thus some Muslim scholars today argue that the single strike permitted in this verse was intended as a restriction on an existing practice, not as a recommended method for dealing with one’s wife.In the major hadith collections– Muslim, Bukhari, Tirmidhi, Abu Daud, Nasai, and Ibn Majah- hadith about striking all emphasize that striking should be done in such a way AS NOT TO CAUSE PAIN OR HARM. THESE SOURCES TRESS STRESS THAT IN CASES WHERE A SINGLE STRIKE IS USED, IT SHOULD BE MERELY SYMBOLIC. The founder of the Shafii law of school maintained that it is preferable to avoid striking altogether. Despite the fact that domestic violence continued to exist in male-dominated cultures and to be legitimated in the name of religion, neither the majority of Quranic verses nor the hadith support or permit it.” (What Everyone Needs to Know about Islam: Second Edition [Copyright 2011] by John L. Esposito page 114 – 116)
Domestic violence - Wikipedia
Wife beating and marital rape sanctioned in the Hindu scriptures:
by anamika
Source: Brihadaranyaka Upanishad part 6, chapter 4 (One of the oldest Upanishads composed 900 – 600 BCE.) Translation by Swami Nikhilananda (1895–1973), follower of Ramakrishna-Vivekananda swamij.com/upanishad-brih
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